Swallow the spider to catch the fly…

I have always been so terrified of spiders. I’ve been called irrational and pathetic by many. And let me tell you that offers no comfort nor does it inspire bravery to the hysterical mess under the sink that can’t exit the bathroom because she’s just noticed a giant huntsman on the door frame. I don’t know quite what it is about spiders that would send me over the edge besides the fact that that exact same huntsman scenario has been recurring since I was 3. I felt like lots of people had phobias and this was mine, this was my excuse to play the damsel in distress and throw open my doors to a knight in shining armour here to rescue me. That never happened & as the years went on I just became more and more distressed. Although other bugs had never bothered me too much however the more I surrounded myself with people who couldn’t stand them and let themselves be taken over by fear – the worse mine got. I can now see that they were in fact irrational fears and I need not work myself into such a frenzy because I’m still alive and as much as I once thought that Daddy Long Legs’ would evolve into more advanced spiders with fangs that are more than capable to penetrate human flesh and they would be the specific ones seeking me out – that really is not something I need to concern myself with. Nor are other detrimental behaviours and patterns I might have unconsciously picked up from those around me. I might not be in control of every situation but I am in control of how I think, feel and act in every situation. This year for me is all about facing fears and seeing them as opportunities for growth and development. I knew the spider thing would be making an appearance. When I really went deeper and developed an even more wholesome connection with the earth, my gratitude for all beings that walk upon her expanded and the less i could bring myself to crush a cockroach with my shoe, these days i even avoid ants. I truly respect the earth and all her creatures and their place upon her is just as worthy as mine. I have accepted this and it fills me with an immense amount of love just thinking about it. Until a huntsman shows up on my ceiling… well … NOT ANYMORE! Last week when a new friend arrived unannounced I knew that I had to deal with the situation differently than I ever had before other wise I would be doomed to keep repeating it. So I got up real close to the little babe and had a chat! I noticed that he only had 7 legs and I began to really feel empathy for the lost little soul. I told him that I understood that he might have been looking for a sanctuary to relax and heal for a minute. And he was surely welcome to experience that in my space, so long as he stayed up high and promised not to crawl on me while I was sleeping. I also let him know that he belongs outside and would be much happier in his rightful place in nature. Even though sometimes life is scary and rough and you can’t just run away, it serves you much better if you learn to adapt. Just like I was adapting to him being in my space. I drew inspiration from my yoga practice of dealing with pain. You create awareness to the pain then ask it to leave. By calmly giving something your attention whilst holding your ground you are able to see the situation from a powerful place and whilst it might be momentarily uncomfortable you can shift your mind to a more positive place than that of an initial knee jerk reaction. I felt my fear transform into a deep respect for the spider, the same respect I would have for a lion on the savannah. And I felt grateful for him to feel at home and safe in my space. He stayed for the night and I haven’t seen him since. I think we came to understand each other very well and I will now be looking at spiders as a metaphor for the passionate creator. I never thought I would say that yoga helped me to release my fear of spiders – I also never thought I would be free from that fear! Thank you yoga, thank you spider, thank you universe ❤

G x

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